


Suggestion Box

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint is Ridiculous, Gen, Humor, Suggestion Box, Workplace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 18:24:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fury is not happy with the suggestion box complaints from an agent on Coulson's team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suggestion Box

“As I stated before, I’m not sure that an organization like SHIELD should really have an employee suggestion box,” Fury said. 

Coulson, seated across the desk, answered, “Agent Sitwell claimed that they would have a beneficial effect on morale.”

Fury grunted. “I doubt it. Let’s just say that I was not overly pleased with the results.”

Coulson paused. “Sir, why I am here to discuss the suggestion box if it’s Jasper’s program?” Coulson had a feeling he wasn’t going to like the answer.

Fury leaned back in his chair. “You know what ‘suggestions’ there were in most divisions? A couple of people wanting more team-building exercises and retreats. Ten times as many people wanting less team-building exercises and retreats. Someone with the bright idea that an elite intelligence organization should offer free cupcakes in the break room. And a suggestion that whoever uses up the coffee without starting a new pot should be shot in the knee.”

“That doesn’t sound overly informative,” Coulson concurred.

“But there was only one suggestion in the box for your unit, Coulson. Would you like me to read it?”

Coulson grimaced. He didn’t answer; Fury already had the card out.

Fury read aloud: “Extraction plans are stupid. I know SHIELD likes to arrange things so everything happens as planned and everyone shows up at a certain time and a certain place. But if it were the kind of mission where everything goes as planned, you wouldn’t be sending our team in in the first place, right? What if I need to go to the other side of a village to get a better vantage point? What if I need to use air vents that lead somewhere besides the extraction point? What if my awesomeness gets the job done an hour before schedule – am I supposed to sit around waiting for a van full of SHIELD agents? I could be at home, eating Doritos, watching Real Housewives. 

“Long story short, we don’t need any help getting out. In fact, in the last month, on three separate missions, Romanov and I got out just fine, but then had to backtrack and rescue the extraction team that had gotten caught on the way to ‘helping’ us. Thanks but no thanks. Extraction teams can eat my balls. Signed, Anonymous.”

After he finished reading, Fury gave Coulson a hard look.

“I’ll talk to Barton,” Coulson said. 

“Yeah,” Fury said slowly, annoyance clear. “You do that.” 

Coulson got up to leave, but as he reached the door, Fury said, “Agent Coulson?”

“Sir?”

“I know that when you said you’d talk to Barton, you definitely didn’t mean that you’d agree to let him and Romanov go in without an extraction plan.”

Coulson looked at him guiltily. “Oh. Of course not, sir.... Unless that turns out to be the best strategy in a given scenario, sir.”

Fury sighed. “Just get out of my office, Phil.” 

“Yes, sir.”

**Author's Note:**

> (SPOILERS for Agents of SHIELD's most recent ep ahead):
> 
> Inspired by the line in AoS: "Barton and Romanov never have an extraction plan."


End file.
